Sunday, September 11, 2011

WEEK 1 MORNING GAME RECAPS

Merry Christmas! Here’s a quick take on the morning games and the Thursday games! It’s so good to be back! …..and Brett Favra’s nads are no where to be found!

Enjoy!

NO 34 @ GB 42

Pretty much a preview of the NFC Championship game. The difference was Aaron Rodgers was more of a surgeon than Drew “Live Crew” Brees and the Pack Attack’s defense was impressive especially with the clutch goal-line ATS-saving goal-line stance with no time on the clock.

IND 7 @ HOU 34

No take on Houston just yet. They have a lot to prove in order to take the AFC South which is still there’s to lose. Tennessee and Jacksonville still left a lot to be desired. Tattoo the AFC South as the Ugly Betty Division of the NFL as all division games between any of those 4 teams will be as attractive as a desperate Cougar at last call wondering down Granville Street.

Indy has slapped Cincinnati in the face as far as the Andrew Luck Sweepstakes go, and their college scouts will be seen with 50-yard seats at every Stanford game this year! Paint Andrew Luck as the next Aaron Rodgers as the Colts will pull off a 1996-97 San Antonio Spurs sandbag season by getting the first Twin Tower QB tandem since Steamin’ Willie Beamon and Cap Rooney.

The Colts looked brutal! Signing David Garrard or Brett Favre won’t help at all for the Colts, they were in utter shock at how brutal they are and will be for the year!

BUF 41 @ KC 7

All takes were correct in how tragic KC will be at all facets of the ball. They pretty much are stacked with New England Patriots cast offs with the Head Coach, Off/Def Coordinators and QB being Patriots sloppy seconds for the Chiefs. They are the Sean Avery Team of the NFL. Sorry Burtzy!

There was no timing on offense and a tackle was as rare as a Jeff Burt facial hair! Cue KC learning the same lessons as Denver did by eventually cleaning house from their Patriots experiment ala Josh McDaniels being shipped out of the Mile High.

B-Lo did not disappoint and look poised to be this year’s Detroit Lions Ascention-Outta-the-Basement Team. Ryan Fitzpatrick looked sharp, as did the B-Lo defense. Although they will rename nameless for the whole year, they will continue to surprise. It looks like the sharps have already caught up on the Bills in terms of laying down the chee$e as the line moved 2 whole points before kickoff in Buffalo’s favor.

PIT 7 @ BAL 35

Right takes for this game, except for opposite teams. The thought was that Pitt’s offense would be high octane and Baltimore looked great to go with the Steelers rust.

Quoth-The-Ravens are deeeeeeep at running back with Ray Rice going Ray Rice with the depth of Ricky Williams adding great depth. From the crazy channel surfing of Sunday Ticket, I was unable to see any carries by Vonta Leach.

Age has not creaped up on Ray Lewis and Ed Reed with their key interceptions. The Ravens have already sprinted out of the AFC blocks with Pitt pulling their best Usain Bolt impression with their false start. 7 turnovers will do that to a team. Ouch Steel-town!

TEN 14 @ JAX 16

No real take on Jax just yet, other than new starting QB Cade McNown didn’t look that outta place for the Jags. The Jags did what they needed to do to squeak a W from the hapless Titans.

Matt Hasselbeck is not the answer for Tennessee. Bad pre-season take on my part. And Chris Johnson did look rusty coming out of his holdout in the shortened Texan pre-season.

This result is neither teams fault, but rather CBS’. If they weren’t a-holes to Gus Johnson, this would have been infused with Gus Karma and the Titan comeback attempt late in the 4th quarter would have given us a last second win and a Gus heart Attack Call.

ATL 12 @ CHI 30

The Yippe-Ki-Yay Mr. Falcons looked horrible on both sides of the ball. They’re defensive line left gaping holes never before seen since Jesse Ventura’s chest in Predator, for Bear RB Matt Forte to resurrect his fantasy resume. Their linebackers couldn’t make a tackle if their lives depended on it. Any coverage from their secondary was as lacking as Peyton Manning’s neck rehab media coverage over the summer! The Falcons look bad! Gimme an O! “Ohhhh”! Gimme a “verrated!”….what’s that spell!?!?!?

The jury is still out for Chicago. But they may make us some money next week as this inflated score based on Falcon turnovers may over-inflate the Bears spread next week @ New Orleans. This should be a juicy spread as the handicappers may not give as much points for the Saints from their loss to Green Bay and give too much for the Da Bears. Look for a juicy spread for the Saints on Monday!

PHI 31 @ STL 13

Philly did what they did to cover. The score is a bit inflated, as the game was in question for the majority of the game. The schedule for Philly and their huge media hype is an extended pre-season until Week friggin 12 at home to the Pats. Look for the Eagles to cover in ugly fashion and take advantage of a super-easy schedule this year!

Speaking of schedules, St. Louis has a murderers row of game every second week until mid-Nov at home to Baltimore, New Orleans and at Green Bay. We’ll get a good take on Sam Bradford’s handle of the pass rush and secondary as Philly came as advertised today.

The scary thing about the Eagles’ secondary is they STILL can improve. They are licking their collective chops at the thought of covering Matt Ryan duck passes next week!

DET 27 @ TB 20

Pretty much another as-advertised game between these two evenly matched tweener teams. This tough home opener loss by the Bucs may give us some points next week at Minnesota who is, at press time, giving San Diego a run for their money.

Detroit’s defense, particularly Still-Dominate Suh hasn’t digressed as much as I thought they would. Cue in a tough over-valued spread next week vs. KC in Pontiac Superdome Jr. Well, actually……anything under double digits will be a gift vs. the hapless Chiefs.

CIN 27 @ CLE 17

Cincinnati didn’t look as pathetic as we all thought, especially on defense. However, Cleveland did not utilize any player properly with Peyton Hillis getting a pedestrian amount of carries with only 17. The Browns Offensive Coordinator play calling was reminiscent of a Kenny Bania set and forcing 40 friggin passes from Colt McCoy. Ovaltine!?!?!? That IS NOT gold Jerry!!!!

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