Alright party people, welcome to another year of crazy
Madness as we haven't had to wait until March this season. The Madness has been in full force since late December with the curse of
the #1! It seemed that no team wanted the #1 ranking, since they’d lose the
next game after receiving the #1 ranking on the Monday of that week. There's no clear cut favorite but rather teams with the ingredients for a deep a run, but this years teams are in heavy "Any Given Sunday" mode as on any day even a team like TCU can smoke a powerhouse like KU. (Breaks my heart saying that, but it was true)
The
conferences are top heavy with an amazing Big Ten and above average Big East
and surprising ACC. However, the Pac-12 is an absolute joke. The play in that conference is so low that Bobby Knight would even strangle Lew Alcindor. The SEC only has Florida; don’t
be fooled by Mizzou (too small) and the Big 12 is so up and down where even KU
had a 3 games losing streak.
Here’s a quicky post to wet your whistles out there in
Bracketville. Enjoy this week’s big conference tournies and get those straight
jackets to the dry cleaner cuz the Madness looks like the announcing ghost of
Gus Johnson would go into solitary confinement!
Watching some college hoops right as this report is getting
made, we all on The Insanity Staff in Conference Room B on the 33rd
Floor of the Insanity Tower miss Gus Johnson like no other but at least we have Mike
Gminski color commentating or is that Will Farrells Harey Carey character?? Zags
win Zag’s win!!!
 |
| Mike "Harey Carey" Gminski |
Here’s the All-Adolph Top Ten team ranking, and as always
eff the current rankings. These are the top ten teams that have an actual
chance to cut down the nets in Phat-lanta.
GONZAGA BULLDOGS
They have their deepest teams in years led by the greatest
superstar in their “Cinderella” history in Kelowna-born and Outhet Player of
the Year favorite Kelly Olynyk. Kelly is the most versatile 7-footer since Gheorghe
Muresan’s performance in “My Giant”. The type of season he’s having is getting
him to a lot of all-star teams, such a unanimous 1st Team All-Adolph team
selection and the All-Ugly-As-Sin Team!
The Bulldogs have one of the most versatile line-ups in the
nation with Kelly’s strengths, and their All-Clutch point guard, Kevin Pangos.
He can hit treys all the way from his hometown in Newmarket! Right up the 400
dare!
Elias Harris is a shadow of his freshman self, but his
veteran experience at forward is a perfect compliment to Olynyk and Pangos who will be taking the big shots. Kelly and Kevin say "you're welcome Elias!"
The Bulldogs have depth at guard and forward, and have
proven that they can win on the road and in their hellacious non-conference
sked. There’s way more takes for Zag’s but the Insanity Report Staff is just
giving y’all a taste. First one’s free, then the next one will cost you yo
straight jacket plaaayaaa!!!
INDIANA HOOSIERS
The Hoooze have just as a versatile and deep line-up as
Gonzaga. They have two quality points guards in Jordan Hulls who is McCarrell-accurate from three, and freshman Yogi Farrell whose game is years above his
freshman experience. He reminds the Insanity Report Staff of a McCarrell kid
dominating the Salem girls hoops scene.
Phenom shooting guard, Victor Oladipo is fighting Kelly
Olynyk for Outhet Player of the Year this year as he is as lightening quick as Dave
Adolph eating a plate of salt-n-pepper wings.
Super Sophomore Center, Tyler Zeller is another versatile
7-footer who is lightning quick for a big running the lanes. But he can get
susceptible to being out-physical-ed like his getting owned by Minny’s Trevor
Mbakwe 2 weeks back. Check it out! Expoooowh-zed Zeller!
The Hoosiers need their wing/forward Christian Watford to
score above 15 points, as when he does, the Hoosiers are a lock to win.
Indiana’s has some bad losses as of late, but they have the ingredients for a
deep run in the Madness.
FLORIDA GATORS
They live but don’t die by the trey. They can shoot it quite
well especially with Kenny Boynton always on the flight deck ready to take off every game!
They have quality bigs in Patric Young and Mike Rosario. But the Gator defense
is capable of giving up scores as low as the mid-30-40’s! They’re defense is
more suffocating than a Joey Gabrick fart!!!! So look out for the Gators, they are
under-rated coming out of a weak SEC!
GEORGETOWN HOYAS
They’ve come back down to earth after a lengthy win streak
in Big East play a couple weeks back. Otto Porter is an amazing athletic
passing forward making the Hoyas the most exciting Princeton-style offense in
history, which is not saying much with this style of offense. With that being
said it is pretty to watch all 5 players pass the ball so great. All 5 starters distribute the ball like a UBC
parking stiff distributing parking tickets. They’ve had games where all 5
starters have 3-4 assists each. Great teamwork by the Georgetown A-hoy-hoyas
KANSAS JAYHAWKS
It pains me to say this, but KU has many ingredients to be a
dominant team, but they're mixed as well as chasing a shot of JD with milk! Ben
McLemore has the capability to go off, but in between these all-star efforts,
he is invisible. It's completely unfathomable that's he's slated as the #1 pick in this year's NBA draft!!!!! Center, Jeff Withey is Stay-Puft Marshmallow Soft. And by
marshmallow, he is march-maahhl-owwwee soft. He is no gate-keeper nor
key-master! We like Kevin Young’s all hustle spaz energy, but with it comes
well-intentioned yet spazzy mistakes. The x-factors of all x-factors is if
coach, Bill Self takes the point guard handcuffs off super senior, Elijah
Johnson! He’s a true shooting guard that could go Kevin McCarrell on your bracket! Coach Self, let Johnson go off! Rock Chawk the shit outta that Jayhawk, will you Self!!!
MICHIGAN STATE SPARTANS
You know how a lot of teams name their court after
long-tenured coaches? That is so below MSU Head Coach, Tom “to the” Izzo! MSU should
be referred to as IU: Izzo U! Done no worry about their quality players and
typical Izzo rough and tumble rebounding, just expect a well-coached Izzo run
deep into the Madness sunset once again. Oh shiz-nat, I just jinxed them!
That’s just it about the Izzo, the m-effer’s unjinxable! Go Spartans!
WISCONSIN BADGERS
They have been truly insulted with their ranking being in the low
20’s all year despite their hellacious Big Team sked. They have had as many
quality wins especially in mid January when they went through the gauntlet.
They have the rare 4 out, 1 in set where most players are big and tall but can
shoot the trey. They always bring the Bo Ryan work ethic but still rely on the
trey too much.
DUKE POO DEVILS
Gotta admit, they showed up UNC big time last night. The
return of Ryan Kelly obviously made a difference. His return gives some added presence in the paint with senior, Mason Plumlee. But the Poo Devils have
little foot speed at all positions to guard the penetration or to take it to the tin
themselves. They rely on planting the puppies and living and dying by the
three. Plus, their dominance over UNC was against a team that is truly
disappointing this year. Disappointing enough that I don't even want to get started on the Tar Heels. Just shameful! But with Ryan Kelly back, they have more muscle in the paint that Ryan "Turpentine" Paulsen would be concerned about!
MICHIGAN WOLVERINES
They have the same talent as a Gonzaga or Indiana, but young
forwards and All-Adolph 1st Teamer Trey Burke. Burke has amazing
talent, maybe tops in the nation, but there is a concern on how he’ll perform
in a Big Ten Tourney game or a Madness game. It's just a Commish hunch. Tim Hardaway Jr. also mails it in
occasionally. Coach John Beilein always preaches mean defense though.
LOUISVILLE CARDINALS
They limped into the Big East tourney last year to win 4
games in 4 days in winning the Big East Tourney to make a semi-Cinderella run to the Final 4 last year. Last
year’s Insanity Crew personally saw Louisville win two games in Portland in the
1st/2nd round and were not impressed thinking they’d
tank. This year’s Louisville Cardinals has most of the same players from last year, which on
paper, they are always a threat but their guards Siva and Smith can pull a KU
Ben McLemore act. The Cardinals can either remind the Insanity Staff of a quality performance
ala the VCU Pep Band from Portland, or.....
(for those UBC Football players, the saxophonist is not Ford Marcotte):
(for those UBC Football players, the saxophonist is not Ford Marcotte):
(Once again, these guys were a huge part of the Madness experience last year!)
.....or they could pull off a Homer Simpson Saxa-ma-phone performance. We'll see in a couple weeks where the cards land for Louisville.......
MARQUETTE EAGLES GOLDEN EAGLES
They will outwork you like they have 12 Greg Sales on the
roster! Watch out for them, they are a well coached team. They bring the hustle
and thunda incorporating Head Coach, Buzz Williams Thundamentals!
MIAMI HURRICANES
Yes, they have talented players especially in Barry Larkins
son. What’s his name? Who cares, he’ll be “Barry Larkin’s son” until he
delivers in the Madness, so here’s your chance suuuuu-on! Plus The U is
overrated because of their sweeps of a brutal UNC and slow-footed Poo Devil
squad.
Again, this one is relatively short, the Insanity Staff is
hard at work on their own Bracketology. Stay tuned for updates on the 15th
Annual March Madness Insanity Pool! Stay crazy San Diego!
Yours in Madness
Commissioner Adolph
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